just a quick note and then i have got to get to studying. i had the most insane experience today. i interviewed with the department of public safety at KU for a museum or library security monitor position. it was intense to say the least. they emailed me a list of things i had to bring including a personal statement and release of information etc etc. i knew they were going to do a background check. the application document had all the usual stuff on it; job history, personal references etc. then there was a section asking not only if you had ever been convicted of a crime, but had you ever had contact with a law enforcement officer. this has been the only job at KU that has contacted me for work. i must have applied for 50 or more jobs up there. so i decided to go and i decided that it was possible that they would find out everything anyway, so i decided to jump in head first.
the first portion was questions in front of a panel of three KU police officers. they had some hard questions, none of which i can remember at this moment. things like "do i work well with others" and "what kind of worker do i consider myself," "give examples of when you had to work very early or very late," "greatest accomplishments at work," etc. then they asked me if i had ever been arrested or had contact with a law enforcement officer. i paused and said "yes" with this truthful admittance tone, like yes i have and i'm not ashamed of it either. it wasn't just a stupid drunken night that i regret. of course i regret the arrest, but it isn't this single embarrassing moment that i wish wasn't permanently on my record. i don't even know if it is on my record. i have completed my diversion and was never prosecuted. but i started to tell them about my 20's and what lead to the "contact with a law enforcement officer." i don't feel like i am telling it well here because it was so surreal. it was like i was talking about a different person. of course i remained light-hearted and used phrases like "mistakes that i made as a kid" instead of "trapped in the throws of addiction." i wasn't telling my story to a bunch of alcoholics i was telling a portion of my story to three police officers. i cannot believe how far away that all seems and how different i am now.
then i got fingerprinted and photographed! can't say i really even remember that from 2002. i was scared out of my mind and high back then! full fingerprinted. both hands. both thumbs. each finger separately and then all four together. i smiled for the photo, something my detective said doesn't happen very often. wonder why?
the next portion of the interview was with the same detective. he had my application out and another version that was empty next to it that he wrote on as he asked me questions. don't get me wrong. i didn't spill my guts about every little detail, but they were asking questions about my illegal drug use. he asked me how long i used each substance and with what frequency. it felt wonderful to not lie through the entire thing. ...wonderful. it felt so strange to tell him how many years i had used each illegal substance.
he never asked me about alcohol once because i had never been arrested on an alcohol related incident. it was the craziest thing. my biggest problem, the biggest fight of my life. the drug that sent me to the hospital three times, rehab twice, w an addiction spanning more than 10 years of my life that cost me a wife, members of her family, numerous cats, and most of my worldly possessions. a drug that caused me to feel not good enough for my own family. he didn't ask about it once because it's not an illegal substance. i quit everything else on my own. alcohol is the one that would have killed me. and you know what? i told him that. when he asked me if there was anything else i said, yes, as a matter of fact there is something else. and i told him that i was able to quit all of those other things on my own. i told him that alcohol was the one that was the most dangerous for me. and i told him how proud i am of my recovery and my sobriety. i told him i didn't want to be disqualified and dismissed because of a single event on paper. i literally told him that i was awesome and that i would be an excellent addition to KU no matter where i end up. i told him that was something i had to go through to get to where i am now, a 4.0 serious about life and school college student who is headed straight to the top. holy shit, it felt so great. it has been a hell of a week and i wanted to share that with my readers.
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