I have been given some amazing opportunities to observe without judgment lately. Like some amazing amazing opportunities. It is as if once I opened myself up to the idea of experience without judgement, god has sent me numerous opportunities to observe and be a part of people's lives that I would never judge. Then all I had to do was get myself out of the way, watch, and hang on.
The issue that I have been attempting to work on is judging people's actions and appearances. For example, it is ridiculously easy for me to judge someone for even leaving the house in their pajama pants, yet alone going about their day in them. They must be poor, willing to take advantage of the system, incapable of time management, or at the very least, not care about how they are perceived. Yet I go about my day knowing and accepting how I look and feel that day and not giving a shit what others think. So who the hell am I?
I very seriously doubt that you would find half a dozen people willing to admit this, but I will literally judge someone for doing the exact same thing that I am doing. Except I will rationalize and reason to find the differences as to why my thoughts and actions are acceptable and the others are not. Yes, I know what it is called. Let us not name call. Let us work on ourselves and improve our lives. Let us admit that we have faults, recognize them, and fix them!
I have two amazing instances that I am dying to share about. So the hottie and I went to spend the weekend with her college friends. Let me start by saying that I DO NOT care about anyone's religion. But my observational opportunity here lies within a bunch of other catholics. Part of the amazing is that the hottie's friends are all catholic; hilarious and experiential in itself.
So she has one friend who goes to church when their son that they share custody with is with them but not usually when it's just the two of them. If I didn't know and already love them exactly the way they are, I would judge them!
Then another asked me how I could have eaten at a specific restaurant and find something w out meat that week. I causally said, oh I don't observe that part. And then when I asked her what did she give up for lent, she casually said, oh I don't really do that part. Instead of giving something up, I added something to draw me closer to god. More than one of my kindred catholics have said that that never occurred to them and that they thought it was an interesting idea. Let the judging begin!
And another instance where her devout friend usually goes to church every Sunday whether home or away but decided to skip this week in favor of sleep and good company. Her close friends noticed that she hadn't slept that late or that well in a long time when they were together. Looks her body was dictating and she listened wither consciously or unconsciously.
My point is that since knowing these friends of the hottie, they are friends of the hottie and I wouldn't dare or dream of judging a single one of them which allows me to just exist with-in. Each instance was its own instance to individual and I know that these women are living their lives to the best of their abilities.
Who the heck am I to judge an individual making choices with in an institutional framework? I have literally looked at an individual in my own church and mentally said, they only come to church during the lenten or advent seasons... Who cares?! Who am I?!
And now I have had an opportunity to visit california and stay with a friend that is a gift in herself. I am not supposed to be friends with this woman. I met her thru my ex partner. She was supposed to give up on me like many in her situation would have. My point: Her lack of judgement begets my lack of judgment and I get this amazing opportunity to come here for 7 days. (Let us all take a minute and think about all the loved ones in our lives that if we spent 7 days with we would kill...) Not only do I get to see life itself lived differently, (coast vs land) but I get to see how different people are and how cool people that aren't like me are! And it is within the framework of, I love this woman and I would never judge her or anyone in her life.
The associations of people that I love open my mind to those they love and shut down my judgment. The domino effect ensues and who is not a loved one of a loved one? So maybe the pajama pant lady at walmart or the advent/lent catholic is my own girlfriend or her childhood friend or the woman who has put up with someone thru all odds. Maybe, like myself, each person has a reason for becoming comfortable wearing pajama or sweatpants to their Saturday night gathering or shopping expedition. Maybe people do things with as much mindfulness and acceptance as I do. Maybe different is just different.
Stay tuned... god has me working on actions without expectation of results...
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